Tags: John C. McGinley | Mickey Rourke | Miranda Richardson | Rachael Leigh Cook | Stephen Kay | Sylvester Stallone

Why can't Sylvester Stallone just cut his losses and retire?

This remake of the classic 1971 British thriller Get Carter finds Sly once again looking bad in a bad movie, this time dragging down Michael Caine and Mickey Rourke with him as he plays a brutal Las Vegas debt collector out to avenge his brother.

Never mind that his brother died in a DWI accident, and never mind what happened to Mickey Rourke's face, just try and focus on the meandering plot as Sly is led through a maze of unbelievable characters including an internet porn king (Rourke) and a loaded computer geek (Alan Cumming).

This is ostensibly supposed to be an action movie, but there is very little action for a long time, and Sly repeatedly threatens people by saying he is ready to take things to the "next level," only to fall through on the threat and continue to, um, act.

Director of the original Mike Hodges creates a good atmosphere for the film with lots of rain and blue tinted lenses, but ultimately this is an empty film about revenge, which as we all know is a most unprofitable use of time and energy.

Thinky says: Earth time is short. Forget Carter.