Tags: Bill Nighy | Kevin Grevioux | Michael Sheen | Patrick Tatopoulos | Rhona Mitra | Shane Brolly

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the third in the werewolves versus vampires series is a prequel that tries to go dark and deeper into the mythology but comes out being the celluloid equivalent of staring out the window of a train on a rainy day. Before you know it the journey's over and forgotten...

New eye candy comes in the form of Rhona Mitra, once a professional Lara Croft look-alike for bawdy UK magazines, now B-roll actress. Her evil father is played by Bill Nighy, a man who has spent his career being a good actor and seems to have decided it was time for a change with this movie.

Similarly, fresh from the critical acclaim of Frost-Nixon, the elfish Michael Sheen is the werewolf love interest Lucien who is hammier in the role than a pork sandwich.

Don't look for surprises here. Every time a sword or weapon is handled there's the obligatory "schiiiing" sound that acts as the movie equivalent of tinnitus (meal times must be a nightmare).

Skull-crushingly dull fight scenes are prolonged using utterly tired slow motion jumping effects and the CGI is sub-90s video game standard.

There's a bizarre sex scene, too, which is filmed in a The Lord of the Rings style and has all the eroticism of Gollum humping a hobbit.

2002's Dog Soldiers raised the bar for werewolf films and action films in general by being genuinely scary, funny, exciting and inventive. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is none of the above and strictly for fans of the series.