Tags: Dominic Sena | Don Cheadle | Halle Berry | Hugh Jackman | John Travolta | Sam Shepard

What smells like fish and tastes like John Travolta?

Vinnie Barbarino chews more scenery in Swordfish a flashy misfire worst than George Bush at an Iraqi press conference. No shoe-throwing, but lots of explosions and Johnny T. double fisting machine guns out the top of a convertible at 100 mph can't hide the fact that this plot makes the Indonesian archipelago look like an uninterrupted continental landmass.

What story line does exist is a timely tale of a government anti-terrorist operation. But it doesn't really hold up amidst the artless violence and bad acting.

Director Dominic Sena wants to be John Woo but doesn't seem to realize that Woo makes violence into ballet, not cliched, empty crap. Travolta is back to being a $20 million whore who apparently signs on the dotted line before reading the script. Halle Berry shows her boobs and a bus full of hostages is hung over downtown LA by a helicopter. What else can I say?

Thinky says: Support your local sushi establishment instead.